![]() ![]() The band recently set a record at the Danish festival Copenhell for most crowd surfers during a single set. “They’re not into moshing or drinking, they kind of stand there and enjoy guitar solos. “Power metal fans are usually more reserved,” Bowes explains. ![]() Pirate deathmetal full#They shared a demo on MySpace and played to a sold-out crowd at their first show, fans already decked out in full pirate regalia. One of them, “Heavy Metal Pirates,” serves as a manifesto of sorts: “We are Heavy Metal Pirates / We sail across the sky / In our battleships of cosmic steel / We're the terror up on high.” The band decided to run with the theme, thinking it was a fun way to get noticed. They stumbled into the pirate life organically, after Bowes had written two bloodthirsty pirate adventure songs. Then, there’s “Call of the Waves,” a metaphoric ode to self-help and independence set to a back drop of triumphantly ascending and dynamic songwriting-quite possibly the band’s most serious moment of its career.Alestorm started in 2004 intending to be a power metal band. “Wooden Leg Part 2 (The Woodening)” is an eight minute, multi-faceted take on prog metal storytelling accented by mournful thrash, symphonic blackness à la Bal-Sagoth and even smidges of death metal. “Chomp Chomp” belies its ridiculous topic-it’s as if The Asylum wrote a song about a mutant crocodile instead of filming an absurdist B-movie about one-with galloping thrash darkness and a solo section reminiscent of early Anthrax. “Fannybaws” is infectious both for its chugging major key riffing, epic chorus, and the manner in which vocalist/keyboardist Christopher Bowes rolls his R’s like a drunken Spaniard throughout the tallest of tall tales. That’s not to say everything here reeks of untethered daring and rote slapstick. On the other hand, the Alestorm of expectation is out in full force with the “Yo-ho-ho” infectiousness of “Pirate’s Scorn” and “Pirate Metal Drinking Crew,” giving fans what they want-scallywags being thrown into the brig and the band drinking everything in sight as middle fingers are held aloft in the direction of detractors. “Shit Boat (No Fans)” plays out more like frat house taunting than metal song, with the “Your pirate ship / Can eat bags of dicks” refrain making this track a lamentation that there never was a combination of the Revenge of the Nerds and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises. Who the hell else would consider pairing creatively passé elements like a pirate metal three-step waltz and Clawfinger-esque rap metal with a straight face (or one twisted by laughter, for that matter) as done on “Tortuga”? A femme vox/prom dress metal interlude unnecessarily spins “Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship” towards irrelevance quicker than you can use the “dog ate my homework” excuse for incompetence and/or laziness. The fact that the song emerges from behind a veil of 80s cock rock with the usual folk metal adjunct and a bellowing metalcore vocal staccato is an indication from the off that Alestorm is flirting with reinvention and doing it as absurdly as imaginable. This is especially true in 2020, as Curse of the Crystal Coconut heaps on layer upon layer of cheese and questionable creative decisions as the band cherry picks from, and slinks into, new territories.Īlbum opener “Treasure Chest Party Quest” may be part tongue-in-cheek self-assertion, part “fuck you,” and all satirical statement that listeners can take as seriously or lightheartedly as they wish-or malign the band to their heart’s content. But, given how far they’ve run with the shtick, immunity from criticism is undoubtedly a front pocket super power in the world of these true Scottish pirate metallers. ![]() Pirate deathmetal skin#Thick skin is prerequisite if you’re playing pirate metal in the first place. PIRATE METAL: Despite what anyone, from casual observers all the way on down to the true metal brigade, may think of Alestorm, it’s patently obvious that Alestorm gives less than a fuck about what anyone thinks of them. ![]()
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